This is worrying me now

Chicklet No. 2 wears fibre glassed 6 inch stilletos to work. Along with a shiny fake patent-leathered animal-printed hobo bag. And considering she’s half my size (and if you make the fatal mistake of ignoring my self obsession with my body and my “I’m so fat, kill me now” whines, I’m barely five foot tall and a borderline underweight case) it makes for a pretty hilarious sight.
I’m also scared I might be booked for harboring and encouraging child labour. She’s apparently is 18 years old. But looks not a day over 10. To avoid getting arrested, I have decided to just let her read hair magazines all day long.

I’ve put on 2 kgs. My life is shattered because of this. I’ve begun my fruit diet from today. It helps that I also have a stomach infection and tiny blood pressure issues. I’m hoping all this illness combined together will at least make me a little thinner. And all the fruit that I’m about to eat will make my skin shinier, minus the shimmering lotion.

And finally, anybody who has ever thought of visiting a shrink or go for counselling, don’t waste your time and money on it. Instead, read Alice In Wonderland. I know. You’ve already probably read it when you were 10 years old, but read it now, when you like to believe you’ve grown-up, seen the world and become wiser. It has the answer to all your life problems without being preachy and without cornering you to a state of panic.
Excepts:
Alice asks the Cheshire Cat: 'Would you tell me, Please which way I ought to go from here ?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to', said the Cat.
'I don't much care where—' said Alice.
'Then it doesn't matter which way you go', said the Cat.
'—so long as I get somewhere', Alice added as an explanation.
'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough.'
Yes. You are welcome. You can mail me so we can figure how you can send me the cheque you planned to give away to the counselor. Of course, I will buy shoes with it. And I might ask for your advice on them so you don’t feel entirely left out.