I have no idea what this is about

So yellow is the new green.
Maybe designers and manufacturers of supposedly fashionable clothes might just want to look into different shades of yellow. Not just the bright canary yellow that threatens to blind you. Thank you. Else you could hire me to give you CMYK ratios of what might sell.
Then there was chicklet no. 1 who came in with chicklet no. 2 for an interview. Blanket Nerve of course wanted to hire only chicklet no. 1 because she was wearing a tiny little hanky tied around her tinier little boobs. But I convinced him otherwise.
a.) She had too much flab spilling around the stomach, and I refuse to be saddled with a junior whose ugly flab I have to look at all the time.
b.) She was playing with a chewing gum in her mouth the entire time while we tried to not laugh at her face when looking at her portfolio. That's just plain disrespectful. You cannot chew gum in an interview. Especially if you also display strech-marked flab and a bad portfolio along with it.
I have nothing against flab spilling out. Even I have some. Without the stretch marks though. But there are ways to disguise that. Need lessons? Pay me. Nothing comes free.
I also met up with Amie on a random tuesday. It humbles me to see how life changes with a baby. Priorities and responsibilities take a 360 degree turn. And seeing that, makes me glad that I know for sure this is not one road I want to follow. Ever. I have enough trouble dealing with my current responsibilities - like how to get around to save enough to buy those red heels and how to stay out of debt and such. These drain out all my energies and I am way too selfish to have to share ground with a constantly pooping-crying child.
However, it would be nice if you do leave me alone Amie. And not try and tell me how incomplete my life would be in my fifties when everyone around me would be doing homeowrk with their kids while I'd still be getting drunk at Hardrock with a random bunch of people. I'd say its stupid to have a baby now just for the reason that twenty years down the line I might find a reason to validate the contraceptive failure.
And oh yes, your boobs are sagging. Wear the right bra now else the breast feeding will leaving you with overfilled hanging balloons. Just friendly advice. Don't take it the the wrong way.
And of course, there's no such thing as random sex. Really.